SHE'S FINALLY MANAGED TO SUMMON HER FIRST DEMON...Dora Carridine is trying to summon a demon, but she's not very good at Latin and nothing ever works out the way she plans.
Her life is fraught with weekly exorcisms and having to watch her father’s fire and brimstone TV show every Sunday. So, when Dora finally succeeds in summoning an incompetent demon lord, she’s absolutely delighted when all hell breaks loose.
She thought summoning a sexy demon lord would be the answer to all of her problems, but her problems are only just beginning when her zealot parents try to burn her at the stake, and Dora is left with only one option—to escape and follow her demon straight into Hell.
First, I'd like to thank NetGalley and Ragz Books for an e-copy of Demonic Dora in exchange for an honest review.
I remember telling people how funny this book was. I even quoted it once or twice. That was in the first 50 or so pages, and it’s astounding how quickly I went from entertained to infuriated with this book.
It’s evident from the beginning that the writing isn’t
great. It’s passable, but barely. There are too many commas and the simplistic
prose contrasts glaringly with the multitude of swear words, most especially
the ‘F’ bomb. But for those first pages,
I was willing to look past the questionable prose as long as the book kept
providing me with laugh-out-loud moments.
It didn’t. In fact,
the novel quickly deteriorated into what was essentially one long poop
joke. Bird poop, dragon poop, demon
poop…it’s actually a fitting metaphor for the majority of the book.
This is going to be a pretty quick review since I really
don’t want to spend paragraphs digging into an indie book, but the gist of
Demonic Dora is this; Dora is the daughter of an over-zealous priest. She has magic, and uses it to try to summon a
demon lord. After an unspecified number
of failed attempts, she finally succeeds, and Kieron comes into the
picture. Kieron is basically one gigantic
hormone. I think he was supposed to be
sexy, but he just kept coming off as pathetic and horny.
After Dora’s father and a mob of religious nutjobs try to
burn Dora at a stake, she flees to Hell with Kieron. This is where the book’s true awfulness
shines, because in Demonic Dora, hell is nothing more than a freak show mixed
with a couple episodes of Jerry Springer.
There are so many holes in the plot it’s ridiculous - like how Dora
manages to still be “alive” while she’s living in hell. The ending is predictable and cheesy as all
hell (get it? Hell? Hehe), though since the end of Demonic Dora was also the
end of my pain reading it, it’s probably the best thing this book has going for
it.
With the word “fuck” in every other paragraph, poop in every
other chapter, and a horny demon as a romantic interest, this whole book reads
like a really bad joke told by a twelve year old boy. Think Little Nicky with even less substance.
Demonic Dora - 1.5 out of 5 stars
What the hell's up with all these fuckin' shitty books?
ReplyDeleteI'll show myself out.
Also, what's up with her face? Does she join the circus?
ReplyDeleteI know, right? I don't seem to be on the best book streak right now. Next one I review isn't going to be a great one, either.... But I do have a few in the future that won't completely suck balls! It sucks because usually, I like over half of the books I read. Just not this month, apparently.
DeleteI have no idea lol. My guess is that it's a stock image they got permission to use for this book, not an actual custom design.
My guess is she does that to annoy her parents. Overly zealous religious parents tend to be really down on non-standard makeup.
DeleteEven if it makes sense within the narrative, it doesn't make sense in a marketing standpoint. That cover would be very off putting to many people I think.
DeleteI was serious on Twitter. I'm gonna read it just so you can see my reaction. Gonna see if I can find it in NetGalley though I don't want to waste money :(
ReplyDelete:D :D :D
Haha I believed you. :p You may like it, actually. Or at least more than I did. But I kind of doubt it. It's just so...immature. And not like teenaged immature. I'm talking still-laugh-at-poop-jokes immature.
DeleteGigantic hormone....pathetic and horny! Great put down. I'm glad you waded through it coz your review made me laugh like a lunatic :-)
ReplyDeleteHaha your comments always make me smile.
DeleteI wrote like three other paragraphs that I cut out because I was starting to feel guilty about being so harsh. I really do hate tearing down indie books, but this one has so many 4 and 5 star GR ratings and reviews that I felt like I had to be brutally honest with mine.