Saturday, September 15, 2012

Fifty Shades Of Grey Book Review

Okay. I did it. I braved the Fifty Shades and came out on the other side of 540 pages...scratching my head in complete, utter confusion.

This is it? This is the book that has garnered so much love/hatred? I feel cheated.

Fifty Shades of Grey started as an easily readable book. The writing was never great, but the thought of forbidden, naughty love kept me turning through the pages. Sex was hinted at for a little while, than given in abundance. The first erotic scene was good. Christian is, at the very least, a very assertive man, something that turns me on greatly (I've always been extremely drawn to mild BDSM), so to hear him telling innocent, naive Anastasia what to do and how to do it and what he likes and how to please him, well, it was a Okay, there, I said it.

But that was it. Every subsequent sex scene was a carbon copy of the first, with the same overused phrases (seriously, if I had to read one more "Oh, my" or "My inner goddess...", I would have given this book one star. Nuff said) and the same character tendencies, with the exception of the very last sex scene.

As far as BDSM goes, this seems incredibly tame (lame). It's more slap-and-tickle by two overly horny adults. I thought I'd be reading a book that reveals a woman's hidden desires for dominance, for the pain that comes along with pleasure, but the sex in this book wasn't overly shocking. Just a LITTLE outside of normal comfort zones. In fact, the only sex scene that I really felt the presence of the dom/sub relationship in was the last one, where Ana lay bound, blindfolded and unable to hear anything but music issuing from a very expensive iPod as Mr. Grey has his way with her. But even this scene was lacking greatly on the pain and focusing almost entirely on the pleasure. Though I will admit, it was the hottest "sexing" of the book. There were also two - in the entire book, only two - instances of "punishment", which was really only ass spanking, one mild, the other a bit more intense. But neither made me gasp in shock, arousal or disgust.

But back to my main point; WHY THE HELL IS THIS BOOK SO POPULAR? SO TALKED ABOUT? SO CONTROVERSIAL? I have read a fair bit of erotica, and this wasn't even as arousing as the better ones. I've also read books with much more controversial themes to the sexuality. Yet they sit in their moderately popular though not world-dominating corner of the bookworld, while Fifty Shades is shoved down the throats of every woman or avid bookreader on the planet. This completely baffles me.

The ending of this book seemed forced, like James had in her head the cliffhanger she wanted to write and didn't let the characters lead us there with any real believability. This leaves me not really caring about the star-and-chain-crossed-lovers.

The romance was meh. The sex was meh. The characters were meh. I'll give Christian the title of "Insanely Hot Rich Guy" he deserves, and admit to being curious about all the questions left open in this book about his past, but that's not enough to have me picking up the next novel in this trilogy anytime soon.

It wasn't great. It wasn't horrible. It wasn't shocking.

I. Just. Don't. Get. It

Fifty Shades Of Grey - 2 out of 5 stars.

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